“Don’t worry, be happy.” Musician Bobby McFerrin may have said it first, but he certainly didn’t give us any advice on how to achieve that fabulous motto. So happiness expert Domonique Bertolucci is stepping in and providing guidance on how to build self-confidence and feel more positive about our lives. In her tome The Kindness Pact: 8 Promises to Make You Feel Good About Who You Are and the Life You Live, Bertolucci breaks it down into easy promises that everyone can commit to. Her book, which released earlier this week, is available through Amazon (click here!). The eight promises of The Kindness Pact will build confidence, nurture self-esteem and give people more energy to do what they want to and be they you want to be:
- Accept your imperfections
There is no such thing as perfection and yet so many people exhaust themselves and erode their self-confidence in pursuit of it. When you accept your imperfections you recognise that you have strengths and weaknesses… and that’s okay.
- Always do your best
When you set impossible goals that you have no real chance of achieving, you are setting yourself up for failure before you begin. When you focus on always doing your best, you are able to have much more realistic expectations of yourself and what you can achieve.
- Stop comparing yourself to others
Whether it’s your neighbours, celebrities or the people you see on reality TV, comparing yourself to others will usually leave you feeling inadequate. When you stop comparing yourself to others, the only person you will need to impress is yourself.
- Believe in your potential
Not only is worrying a big waste of energy, it also sends a clear message to your subconscious about your expectations in life. Instead of worrying about things that might never happen, focus your attention and efforts on making the things you do want your reality.
- Silence your inner critic
The way you speak to yourself has a big bearing on how you feel about yourself; if you speak to yourself in a harsh, critical or belittling way, your confidence will whither. You are the guardian of your self-esteem and you should never speak to yourself more harshly than you would to a small child.
- Challenge yourself
Confidence and self-belief are like muscles; you need to exercise them if you want to grow stronger. When you challenge yourself, you are telling your subconscious that you believe in yourself and that you are willing to back yourself in new circumstances and situations.
- Stop making excuses
If you are not living your best life, you need to examine not only the things that are getting in your way, but also the reasons why you are letting them. When you stop making excuses and start taking responsibility, you are able to enjoy the things that are great about your life while harbouring no illusions about what you need to change if you are to enjoy everything else.
- Love yourself
When you love yourself, you treat yourself with as much love and respect as you would your closest friend, be understanding and forgiving of your failings and, above all, be as kind to yourself as you are to the other important people in your life.
